My Heart
by swankkyy
Summary: Brittany and Santana were best friends when they were 5 years old but Brittany had to move far away. 12 years have passed and Santana is struggling with feelings that developed for Brittany within days of her moving back. T for now. Maybe M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**PROLOGUE:**

Little Brittany Pierce woke up from her afternoon nap. She ran looking for her mom with excitement because today was the day she got to go to the park.

Brittany ran up to her mom and pulled on her hand to try to make her go towards to car quicker, "Mom, hurry up! All the good swings are gonna be taken!"

Her mom smiled at her enthusiasm, "Don't worry baby.. When's the last time you didn't go on the swings?"

"Never..."

"You'll get your chance don't worry."

Brittany's mom took her time getting inside the car and strapping her kid to her booster seat. By the time she started the car Brittany was already itching to get out.

When they got to the park, Brittany was about to run towards the swings but they were already taken up.

"Mommy, I told you!"

"They'll be open again soon enough. Go ahead and play on the slide while you wait."

Brittany skipped around started playing by herself by going up and down the slide. She saw that a swing was finally open and decided to hurry and take it before anyone else did. When she grabbed the swing another little girl did too.

The little Latina girl gave a stern look to Brittany, "I got here first!"

"We can share and take turns if you want."

The Latina looked like she was thinking about it for a second and replied, "Fine. But I get to go first!"

They took turns swinging and pushing each other for a long time. Brittany had the time of her life because she had made a new friend.

The blonde tried to push her hair in a pony tale before taking her turn, "My name's Brittany by the way. Brittany S. Pierce."

After the little Latina girl realized that Brittany was having trouble put her hair up she went behind her and helped, "I'm Santana Lopez. "

"Thanks for helping with my hair Santana."

Brittany took her turn for a bit and jumped off to let Santana go. Santana got on and started swinging back and forth but when she went to jump off she accidentally scraped her knee in the process. Brittany ran over and asked if she was okay.

"It's just a scratch it's okay. My dad says I'm his tough girl."

Brittany kissed the Latina's knee to make it better, "Now it won't hurt as much"

"I like you Brittany.", Santana said with a grin while getting up from the floor.

Brittany's mom called out from where she was sitting, "Brittany! Come on it's getting late! Time to go home now!"

"I should probably go now. It was nice meeting you Santana."

Santana frowned and asked, "Will we ever play again?"

"I'm sure we will. I start kindergarten soon. Maybe we'll be in the same class together!"

* * *

**5 MONTHS LATER**

Brittany came to her kindergarten just to get her things and say goodbye. Everyone there was sad that she was leaving because Brittany is the most liked person in the class. Even the teacher had a sad face while Brittany got all the projects she'd done.

Santana ran over to Brittany with tears filling her eyes, "I don't want you to leave Brittany."

"I have to San... My parents said so."

Santana was sobbing and hugged her best friend and begged her not to leave, "You can live with me! I'll take care of you, I promise. You're my only friend Brittany."

Brittany had tears stream down her cheeks, "I'm sorry but I can't stay. I have to leave"

She gave a tight squeeze to Santana before pulling her away and headed with her parents to the car.

"FINE THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH YOU! I_ HATE_ YOU BRITTANY S. PIERCE!"

Both of the girls cried until they couldn't cry anymore. Brittany hated leaving Santana and hated that she said they weren't best friends anymore. But Santana hated it just as much and wished she could take back what she said.

* * *

**12 YEARS LATER**

"Are you almost done packing Brittany? We have to be ready to go by the morning."

"Yeah, I just have a few more things to put in my suitcase and I'm ready to go."

Brittany sat in her empty room and looked around. This was the last time sleeping in there. It was almost eerie for her to see it was empty. Her voice echoed as she talked to her mom about arrangements and their plan when they moved in to their new place.

"I'm not gonna know anyone there, mom"

"We lived there before hunny"

Brittany laid down in her sleeping bag, "Yeah but that was like a really long time ago. No one will remember me."

"It's not going to be terrible. Remember when we moved here and you thought you were going to be alone for the rest of your life?"

The blonde mumbled in response under her breath, "I was 5."

"My point is that you adapted. You'll adapt again after settling in at Lima."

"This is gonna blow mom. I already know it."

Brittany's mom kissed her forehead and left her to sulk for the night.

_I can't believe I'm going back there._

In the morning, Brittany hurried up to put all of her things in the U-haul her parents rented and they drove for a full day before ending up anywhere near Lima, Ohio. Brittany kept her Ipod in the entire time while looking out to see nothing but small towns that annoyed her. She didn't know why her parent's couldn't have moved somewhere that had a bigger population than what this town had. She was dreading her first day at her new high school on the upcoming Monday. She was sure everyone had already figured out their place and she was nothing but a disturbance to everyone.

When her family finally arrived at her new home, she saw a few people her age walking around. She got her mattress out first and went straight for her room and slept until her family wanted her to unpack the rest of her things.


	2. Chapter 2

**Santana's POV**

_Yay another boring Monday to wake up to, _Santana thought as she turned off her phone alarm. She shuffled her way to the bathroom to wash out the disgusting morning breath she had.

Her mom walked in her room without knocking, "Hey how are you today?"

"What do you think?"

"Okay touchy just asking. What are your plans today?"

Santana eyed her mother through the mirror, "School as usual and hopefully I won't get bothered for the rest of the day."

Her mother rolled her eyes, "God you are a mirror of your father sometimes mija. Please, be a good girl today."

Santana gave mischievous smile and replied, "Aren't I always?"

"Riiight. Do you need a ride to school today?"

"Please, I'm not trying to get caught up being driven by my mom to school. Quinn will pick me up in a little."

Her mom walked out of her room after that and started to get ready for her job.

Santana got ready and quickly looked over her Cheerios uniform before tossing it aside and choosing something else to wear. She got kicked off the team with Quinn after choosing Glee over the squad. She didn't know why Quinn or herself did that, but since then they've never been happier. They're with a group that accepts them for who they are even if the person Santana was portraying wasn't herself. She did miss the Cheerios and the workout they had to go through and the popularity that came with it. Quinn and herself were still popular but they weren't at the top of the totem pole.

Right after she was done getting ready she got a text from Quinn saying she was outside. _Perfect timing._

Santana jumped into the car as Quinn started talking to her, "So we have to stop by the coaches office before class"

"Why? I'm trying to gets my mack on with mohawk boy."

"It's not like you cared much for him anyways. He's just for show. She said she wanted to see us and that was it."

"Whatevs."

When they came into school everyone was whispering about a new girl in town. Santana and Quinn didn't think much of it and headed towards the coaches office right away. They came in and sat down, waiting for the coach to show up.

Coach Sylvester came in with three of her famous protein shakes in her hands, "Drink up ladies."

Santana gave a disgusting look towards the containers, "Ew, why?"

"You'll need your strength to be on the squad again."

Quinn spoke up before Santana could, "Why would we want to be on the squad again? That doesn't make any sense. You're horrible to us and we feel more at home with glee club."

"If you ladies haven't heard yet, we have a newcomer here at McKinley. To spare us both the exhausting time of chatting I'll cut to the chase. This girl can dance. She's won her old school championships. Obviously they never won as much as I have but she could be a huge asset to us if we want to keep bringing this school trophies and most importantly bringing myself trophies. You two used to be the best. I need you two to get your old uniforms out and try to make her the best with you two."

Santana gave the coach her famous eye roll, "So what you're saying is to make her feel right at home?"

"That's exactly what I mean. Make friends with her and get her to join us for an amazing victory this year."

"Okay, we'll do it on one condition."

"Oh of course. Be in the glee club for all I care. With all the money we'll be bringing in the school we won't need funding from Principle Figgins."

Quinn looked over to Santana and said at the same time, "You have a deal."

They strutted out of the coaches office with a power they knew they held over the school again.

Quinn stopped at their lockers and said, "We'll try to get to the new girl today while we aren't in uniform and tomorrow we'll try to seal the deal."

"Sounds like a plan. Now if you don't mind I'd like to get my mack on now."

"Yeah, I'm sure you'd love to do that"

"Shut up Q. You know what I mean"

Santana headed over to her hookup buddy Puck and made him follow her to the bleachers. Puck was far from a good hookup buddy but it's not like he was exactly her type in the first place. Santana was a closeted "muff muncher" and the only person she had balls to spill it to where Quinn and that's because you'd say anything when you're drunk and making out with someone.

The bell rang in 5 short minutes and Santana needed to practically throw off mohawk boy to leave.

"Hey babe, I thought we were making out."

"Yeah well, I have to make a point to go in to class today. The new girl might be in one of them and I have to play _nice_ with her. So if you see your buddies around, tell them NOT to slushy her."

"Oh I've seen the new girl and she's smokin' hot. She's not gonna have any guy wanting to slushy her. The Cheerios might be a problem though."

"I'll take care of them. Now stop sticking your tongue down my throat so I could get to class."

Puck gave up and slung his backpack on his shoulders, "Do we have a cheerio dusting off her uniform?"

The Latina pushed him away from her, "Yes, and by choice by the way."

Santana headed towards class without saying bye to Puck. He was the closest thing to a boyfriend for her but she wouldn't consider him one. Even if she was straight, he wasn't the most loyal guy to go out with. Santana went to her usual classes and didn't see the new girl anywhere. Everyone couldn't stop talking about her though and it started to annoy her enough to want to slushy her. At the end of the day she met up with Quinn to see if she'd seen the girl anywhere.

"Hey San. Did you get a chance to see her today?"

"No fucking luck whatsoever. You?"

"Yeah I have a few classes with her in it. Actually, I think I only have 2 classes that she's not in. Weird right?"

Santana became annoyed with how little information she gave her, "So did you talk to her?"

"I did and she said she's gonna meet up with us on the bleachers in a few minutes."

"Okay well then let's get going and get this over with. What's her name?"

"Brittany something. She said she used to live here a long time ago but had to move for her father's work. She didn't make like any friends when she was here though."

Something in the back of Santana's mind clicked but she could barely remember the little girl who left her crying in front of her whole kindergarten class. It was so long ago that she barely remembered her name. But she never forgot the feeling she had when Brittany left. It was the most painful feeling she let anyone give to her. She wasn't about to let anyone else do the same thing.

They waited on the bleachers for a couple of minutes before the blonde came. She looked over at Quinn and waved before heading over to where they were sitting.

She bounced up the steps and tried catching her breath, "Hey! Sorry I took a little longer than I expected I was trying to get out of that class, but the teacher kept talking about Glee Club or something."

Santana felt an alarm go off in her whole body and she quickly turned from nice to vicious, "Yeah well-"

Quinn knew that voice and cut her off as quickly as she could, "Glee club is really fun. Santana and I both are in it. Mr. Shue is a little persistent sometimes."

She turned to Santana and gave her a look that said not to mess this up. The Latina tried her best to grit her teeth and continue on. She didn't even know if Brittany remembered her but she really hoped she didn't.

But she hoped too soon, "Santana? As in the Santana Lopez?"

Santana clenched her jaw tightly and gave a winning smile, "Yes."

Quinn quickly became aware of the atmosphere and tried to change the subject, "So what do you think about the Cheerios?"


	3. Chapter 3

"What the_ hell_ was that Santana?"

Santana tried shrugging it off, "I'm sorry, I got carried away in my own thoughts. I'll try to control myself next time."

They were walking away from the bleachers trying to keep their composure until they were totally alone. Once they were in the Cheerio's locker room they started really talking about what was going on.

"Why were you about to snap on her? You knew we were supposed to play nice."

"I know her.."

Quinn rolled her eyes and tried prying more out, "I obviously know that Santana. She pointed that out once I said your name. How do you know her?"

"We were friends back when I was like 5. She moved and I got really upset about it."

"Wow. You were about to ruin everything for something that happened 12 YEARS ago. Do you realize how stupid that sounds? Especially if you DID ruin it and the coach found out?"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get worked up on it. I'll try to fix it. But I can't promise I'll be 100% sincere about anything."

"I _know_ you won't be sincere about it but you're gonna do what you need to do. We didn't need to agree to this but we did. You want to be on the Cheerios so please fix whatever problem you _do_ have with her. If you didn't notice back there, she was actually a pretty nice girl. Get it together Santana. You're acting like a little girl."

Santana sighed and nodded her head, "I know... You're already acting like a captain again."

"That's what happens when I'm about to be back on top."

Santana went home to pick up her Cheerios uniform and have it dry cleaned before tomorrow. She didn't know how she was going to get on Brittany's good side. They were gonna be on the same cheer leading team. It was no surprise that Santana was a bitch. It was hard to kiss up to anybody, especially someone who made her seem weak.

She sat by herself and waited for her number to be called to pick up her uniform. The dry cleaner already knows that the Cheerio's need their uniforms right away and to make it a priority order.

While she was waiting she heard her name being called behind her. She turned around to see Brittany standing there.

Santana almost glared at her but remembered Quinn's conversation with her and put on her winning smile again, "Oh hi, what are you doing here?"

"My mom has a few things that need to be 'handled with care'."

Santana nodded her head and tried to come up with something to say to her. She kept opening her mouth and closing it, looking like a fish gasping for water.

Brittany eventually spoke up for her, "Crazy how we'd meet again isn't it?"

The Latina just nodded her head and started to feel like she was ruining everything.

Once again, Brittany spoke up, "I thought I'd never see you again. But things always change.. How have you been since I left? Probably good. I've been the same. Just always practicing dancing and cheering."

Santana cut in once she heard her mention cheering, "Are you gonna join the Cheerios?"

"Hmmm. I don't know."

"To be honest... _Brittany_... We want you on the team. You'll be a great asset to the Cheerios and we could definitely win with you on it. I would be lying saying that you didn't stir up the coach. You'd be her next winning trophy."

Brittany touched Santana's arm causing her to jerk away. When Brittany noticed the nervous look she kept her hands to herself. Santana didn't understand the slight wave of energy she got in her stomach when Brittany touched her but it made Santana mad at the blonde and almost hostile.

The blonde saw Santana's facial expression change, "Are we cool Santana? I just thought we were since we've known each other for a while now."

"To be honest, no. I don't like you very much and I don't like being_ touched_." Santana squirmed away from Brittany when she tried reaching for her to calm her down. "Coach Sylvester bribed me to get you on the squad, but I'm done with trying to play nice. I don't really care if you say yes or no. Just stay away from me."

Santana's number got called right on time and she got her uniform and left. She didn't know if she was going to be on the Cheerios after that outburst so she didn't plan on wearing it the next day. She put it in her bag just in case Brittany didn't say anything to the coach or anyone else.

Quinn picked her up as usual the next morning and looked at her with confusion, "Did you forget that we're Cheerios again? Why aren't you wearing your uniform?"

"I fucked up, long story. Lets just hope that Brittany doesn't say anything or else I'm dead meat."

Quinn gritted her teeth as she pulled out of the drive way, "_Dammit Santana_. That temper is going to get us both screwed."

"I can't help it if I don't like somebody."

The blonde started to laugh at her, "Yeah but you don't like her because of something that happened _12 years ago!_"

"You don't think I know that? Just leave it alone. I'll take care of it."

"Oh, just like you did yesterday? By the way, we missed glee club yesterday so we missed the assignment. Or at least you did. I got filled in by Rachel."

Santana decided to try to keep on the subject change, "When did you two become best friends?"

"Shut up. The little jew informed me yesterday on my way out of the school... It's 'acceptance' and I'm performing today for B-Beth."

Santana and Quinn both fell silent for longer than they should have. Quinn's stutter on her daughter's name broke Santana's heart.

Quinn cleared her throat and tried to continue talking, "Please try to be decent to Brittany, San."

"Yeah... I'll try."

They both kept quiet until they pulled in to the school. While walking down the hallway, Coach Sylvester walked up to them. Santana was expecting to get yelled at and possibly be threatened to be shipped to her native land.

"Hello Blondie, hello latina version of Blondie. I would like to congratulate both of you for our future glorious victories. You did it. Now if you excuse me I have an interview with Cheer magazine in 5 minutes on my Iphone."

The coach walked away and to Santana's surprise, Brittany didn't mention their conversation to the coach.

"Well San, you better apologize to that_ horrible_ girl for not saying anything."

Santana gave a sarcastic smile to Quinn and walked away to find Puck. She skipped her first 3 periods just hanging out under the bleachers with Puck and the regular 'skanks' that passed by. When she finally made it to class, she didn't pay much attention.

When it was finally time for glee club, she started to pay attention about anything going on in front of her.

Mr. Shue walked in the room and started by trying to get everyone's attention, "Hello everyone. We have a new member for Glee club! This is Brittany Pierce. She'll be singing tomorrow for us. Today we have Quinn singing for this week's lesson. Why don't you come up and sing right now Quinn."

Before Santana could continue staring at Brittany, Quinn squeezed Santana's hand and headed towards to front of the choir room,

Quinn took a few deep breaths in front of the Glee club before she started talking, "This song is to Beth. I wish she was here with me but... Everything happens for a reason."

Quinn started singing with tears already filling her eyes. She hasn't talked much about Beth but when she did, she couldn't handle it.

_"You escaped like a runaway train  
__Off the tracks and down again  
__And my heart's beating like a steam boat tugging all your burdens  
__On my shoulders"_

She started holding her stomach subconsciously while singing and closed her eyes,

_"In the mourning I'll rise_  
_In the mourning I'll let you die_  
_In the mourning all my worries."_

As she continued singing, you could see that part of her that was broken. That hidden part that no one else could see but herself when she was alone.

_"And it takes all my strength not to dig you up  
__From the ground in which you lay  
__The biggest part of me  
__You were the greatest thing  
__And now you're just a memory  
__To let go of"_

By the end of the song Santana got up to support her in front of the room. She held her close and decided to take her outside to calm down.

Quinn crumbled to the floor and tried to hold herself together as she fell apart, "I miss her so much Santana."

"I know you do.. It'll be okay."

"Sometimes I can still feel her inside me moving... Why couldn't have things been different? I held her and watched her breathe! She was my perfect little girl. I wake up in the middle of night expecting her to be there."

Quinn continued sobbing until she couldn't cry anymore for several minutes. Eventually, she decided it was time to get herself together for now and go back inside the choir room.

"You don't have to go back in there Q.. I can drive you home."

"It's okay San... She's gone now and all the crying in the world couldn't bring her back. I realized that. We both lost someone and you're not being this way. Why do I have to feel like this?"

"He was my Dad Quinn and I miss him every day. You lost your baby girl. That's going to take more out of you.. Things will eventually get better, I promise you."

Quinn took another deep breath and walked back in the choir room causing everyone to get up and hug her. Rachel was right next to her for the rest of the lesson not letting go of her hand.

* * *

**The song Quinn sang was 'In the Mourning' by paramore**

**Please review! I live off of hearing back from the people who read my stories!**


	4. Chapter 4

Once Glee was over, Santana hurried to catch up to Brittany.

She grabbed Brittany's arm and shrugged off the feeling she got in her stomach by the contact, "Hey Brittany! can I talk to you for a sec?"

Brittany turned to walk back in the room and waited for everyone to leave the room. Once they were alone, Santana started to get anxious and didn't know where to start.

She looked down at her hands and decided to get to the point, "You didn't tell coach about what I said yesterday.."

"I didn't think it was necessary to do so. I don't like telling people my business."

"Why did you join the Cheerios if you knew I'd be there?"

Brittany looked around the room then back to Santana, "I like to dance and cheer. As far as I'm concerned I don't want to have one conversation with someone define what I'm doing."

"Look, I'm sorry for being a bitch earlier.. It's sorta how I'm programmed. But you saved my ass and if you had said something to coach, I would be off the Cheerios_ again._ Do you want to hang out for a bit and catch up or something?"

The blonde nodded her head, "I'd like that"

They started walking around town, talking lightly about things other than themselves. Without realizing it, they both ended up back near the park they used to play at.

Brittany chuckled, "I guess we're right where we left off."

"Uhmm..do you think we can skip walking around the park? I haven't been there in a while and it just springs up memories.."

Brittany gave Santana puppy eyes that made her heart melt and her stomach jump up to her throat causing her to barely catch her breath, "Pleeeeaaase San?"

The Latina's stomach did back flips at the way Brittany pleaded. She was having her own battle inside of her about Brittany. There was a part of her that wasn't so recognizable that felt like she could trust Brittany and let herself open up to the blonde fully. But there was another part of her that hated the weak feeling she had within herself. In the past 12 years she's never been so vulnerable to a stranger.

She would've said yes to Brittany regardless but she tried to seem like she didn't care, "Fine, whatever. But this is me repaying you for being a total bitch to you yesterday."

The blonde clapped while jumping up and down. She grabbed Santana and dragged her to the playground. Santana sat on the tables while Brittany ran around on the monkey bars. Santana had so many memories here that she felt naked. No barriers, no walls to hide behind. The park had been there to witness her happiest moments. Brittany ran and tried to get Santana to mess around with her around the park. Santana saw that little blonde girl again and her heart wrenched. How could she miss someone so much that she only knew for a few months as a little girl? She let Brittany drag her around the park and eventually even smiled back at the blonde. She started to feel safe and couldn't stop herself from laughing and letting loose.

"San, can we go on the swings? For old times sake?"

Santana rolled her eyes at how Brittany was ready to beg. She shyly nodded her head and let Brittany lead the way to the broken down swings. luckily there was one left for them to take turns on. Santana sat down and let Brittany push her gently and let the swing rock her back and forth.

The blonde pushed and started to ask Santana questions, "Why didn't you want to come here? besides because of me?"

The latina smiled softly, "You weren't the reason.. I just have a lot of memories here with my dad."

Brittany scrunched her eyebrows together, "Why is that a problem?"

"It's not a problem.. He died a month or two after you left. He had cancer and didn't want treatment. We would come here almost everyday and he'd spend as much time as he could with me."

Santana didn't know why she spilled that out. She'd only just started being nice to the girl again a few hours ago. But she felt like she could tell her anything and it'd be kept safe with her. Brittany didn't say anything to try to comfort her. She just listened to Santana tell her about her father and all the memories they had together. By the end of Santana talking about her dad, she had tears streaming down her face.

Brittany scrunched down in front of Santana's swing so she was at eye level with her, "Are you okay?"

The Latina laughed at herself for being emotional, "Yeah.. He always told me I was his tough girl so I think I can handle this."

Brittany leaned in and kissed Santana's cheek and whispered, "Hopefully now it won't hurt as much."

Santana felt herself get weak as Brittany lingered there for second and was about to kiss Santana's lips when Santana pushed her back, "I have to go."

Brittany watched the Latina get up from the swing. She covered her mouth with wide eyes, "I'm so sorry if I scared you"

Santana shook her head at herself, "I shouldn't have said everything I had. I just... I need to go."

* * *

**Brittany's POV**

Brittany watched Santana practically run away while she stood there stunned at herself. It wasn't a huge deal for Brittany to kiss girls. She's done it before. But the feeling she had with Santana was oddly different. It's not like Brittany was gay. She's had boyfriends before and the occasional hookup. But to be feeling this way for anyone was confusing to her. She walked home feeling alone more than she ever had. She didn't know why she liked Santana. That girl had been nothing but rude to her until a couple of hours ago. What was it about her? Brittany saw something that she knew no one else had the pleasure to see. She saw Santana cut loose and have fun. To laugh and smile and joke around. Brittany knew that meant something in Santana's book. But why did she have to run away?

Glee club came faster than Brittany would've liked because she knew Santana would be there ignoring her. Mr. Shue came in and waved at Brittany to join him.

"Okay everybody. It's time to hear what Brittany's got for us. Are you ready?"

Brittany jumped up from her chair and skipped to the front of the class, "Yeah.. I don't really know how singing in front of you guys goes but uhm. Okay. I wanted to use a song that went with the theme for this week. I hope you guys enjoy.."

And with that, Brittany queued for the band to start-

_"Here I am on the phone again and  
__Awkward silence is on the other end  
__I used to know the sound of a smile in your voice  
__But right now all I feel is the pain of the fighting  
__Starting up again"_

Brittany belted the chorus as best she could without looking at Santana. But once the next verse came she couldn't help but directly look at her,

_"Some say that time changes  
__**Best friends can become strangers**  
_**_But I don't want that, no not for you  
_**_If you just stay with me we can make it through  
__So here we are again, same old argument  
__And now I'm wondering if things'll ever change, yeah_

_When will you laugh again?  
__Laugh like you did back when  
__We made noise till 3 am and the neighbors would complain  
__All the things we talk about  
__You know they stay on my mind  
__All the things we laugh about  
__They'll bring us through it every time_

_Don't say a word  
__I know you feel the same  
__Just give me a sign  
__Say anything, say anything  
__Please don't walk away  
__I know you want to stay  
__Just give me a sign  
__Say anything, say anything"_

Brittany kept singing while looking at Santana who looked very uncomfortable at this point. At the end of the song everybody stood up to clap except Santana who felt Brittany's stare through almost the entire song. She sat there and gave Brittany a disbelieved look.

Mr. Shue patted Brittany's back, "That was really good Brittany. Welcome officially to new directions!"

"Thanks Mr. Shue."

"Was that to anyone in particular? "

Brittany's eyes flickered to Santana, "Maybe to an old friend"

The lesson continued as usual and as everyone left Santana brought Brittany to the side to talk again. Santana's voice didn't get higher than a whisper, "What the _hell_ was that?"

"What do you mean?"

"That song was obviously about last night. Everyone noticed that you were eyeing me the entire time! I'm not trying to have anyone try to give me a buzz cut anytime soon!"

Brittany gave a hurt look to Santana, "I'm sorry San. But you left last night and I was sitting there stunned like an idiot while you walked away... Why did you walk away from me?"

"Because... I couldn't"

"Couldn't what? Kiss me? You didn't want to?"

"I... I did."

"Then what's the problem?"

"You pushed down every barrier I had for the past decade before the week was over for yourself. You scare me Brittany. I told you about my _dad_. The only other person I talked to about it was Quinn because she lost the closest thing a woman could lose. We found each other at our worst. You just waltz in my life and I tell you anything. That's my problem"

Brittany looked apologetically to Santana, "I'm so sorry Santana.. I didn't mean to crash into your life like that. I'll give you time and space or whatever but I hope we could be friends like we were last night before I tried to kiss you."

Brittany hugged Santana and walked out of the choir room.

* * *

**Santana's POV**

Santana stood there in her own thoughts. Why couldn't things be different? She had enough trouble dealing with being a closeted lesbian. But to actually have feelings for someone was beyond her. She felt really bad for hurting Brittany again so she tried to hurry and catch up to her.

"Wait, Brittany!"

Santana jogged out of the room and almost ran into Finn Hudson, "Get out of my way Pillsbury Dough Boy."

Finn didn't budge, "I wouldn't be insulting me now if I were you."

The Latina just laughed, "Why? Are your puff pastry nipples ready to be drained?"

Santana started to run past him when he turned to address her, "Hey Santana, why don't you just come out of the closet?"

Santana stopped dead in her tracks, afraid to move. Her mind completely cleared and all she could feel was her heart pounding._ He heard._

* * *

**The bolded part of the song is the most important part of it and the biggest reason Brittany sang it.  
I worked very hard on this chapter wanting to get everything just right so please review :)**

**The song that Brittany sang was Say Anything by Good Charlotte**


	5. Chapter 5

Finn kept talking while looking at Santana with disgust, "You know, I think I know why you're so good at tearing everybody else down. It's because your constantly tearing yourself down."

"Shut the fuck up Finn. You don't know what you're talking about."

He started to feel like a bigger man and kept going, "You can't admit to anybody, not even yourself, that you're falling in love with Brittany and she might not ever love you back. That must hurt not being able to admit to everyone how you really feel. You know what I think you are? A coward. I already know how this ends... You fall for Brittany, and when you confess, she'll run away because she's just a girl wanting to have a good time and not anything more than that."

Santana turned around and a stray tear fell down her cheek, "What do you want?"

"My girlfriend to come back to me."

Santana cocked her head, "What?"

"She's always with Quinn now and they've gotten too close. Rachel won't listen to me with anything I have to say so you have to talk to Quinn. What you guys are feeling is unnatural. She's just trying to get my attention and now she has it so just do something."

"Finn, Rachel's been there for Quinn... You know she lost her baby and it's been rough."

"Yeah I know. I was almost tricked into thinking that I was the father of the..._ Thing_. Do something to make them not close anymore."

She winced at how he rejected calling Beth an actual little girl, "Why would I do that? She's my best friend."

Finn looked at her like she had a disease, "Because if you don't, I'll tell everyone your disgusting secret. How does it feel to be _filth_ Santana?"

Santana was trying her hardest not to cry, "Please, don't... I'll talk to Quinn just please... Don't."

She walked away feeling torn apart and didn't want to do anything but curl up in a ball and not fight anymore. How could someone find all of her fears and just use it against her? This would have never bothered her before she felt something for Brittany. She would have denied everything and tore Finn to pieces. But she couldn't deny what she felt for the girl and it scared her. Having all this thrown in her face showed what other people would think of her if this would ever become public news.

The Latina grouped herself together and headed over to Quinn's house. To her surprise, Rachel was leaving as Santana walked up the steps.

"Oh hello Santana... Quinn told me you'd be coming soon so I thought it'd be best to let you two have some girl time together."

Santana smiled so weak it made Rachel question if she was okay, "Thanks Rach.. Is she in her room?"

"Y-yes... Are you alright?"

"Peachy."

Rachel noticed the annoyance in Santana's voice so she let her go without pushing it. Santana slowly walked up to Quinn's room and shut the door behind her. Quinn looked happy for once. She seemed like some of the clouds that were hanging over her head evaporated from Rachel's constant upbeat attitude that was like radiating sunshine. You could still see the pain behind her eyes though.. Santana wondered if that would ever go away.

"Hey Q.."

Quinn sounded like she was just waking up, "Hey San. I just had the best time with Rachel. I feel like I can breathe again."

"About that.. Can we talk about what's going on with Rachel?"

"Uh sure, what about her?"

"She makes you happy doesn't she?"

"Of course she does. She's been amazing since I came out of the hospital."

Santana bit her lip so hard blood started pulsating out.

Quinn noticed how worried Santana looked and got worried, "Oh my.. What's wrong san?"

Santana sat down on the edge of the bed and buried her head in her hands, "He found out about me"

"Who found out about what?"

"F-f-fin found out about.. Me having feelings for Brittany."

"You have feelings for Brittany? Just 2 days ago you were cursing her name Santana. Now you want her?"

The Latina gave a small laugh, "I know. She's just so pure and she makes me laugh and l can't help it."

Quinn gave a look that was just as confused as Santana was at first, "What did Finn do? Isn't he cool with it? Kurt is his brother and I don't think you can get more gay than Kurt"

"That's the thing... I don't want you to be sad again Quinn.. You're finally starting to be a little better and I don't want to ruin that."

"What happened Santana? You're shaking."

Santana looked at her hands and sure enough she couldn't stop them from shaking wildly, "Yeah I am... Finn stopped me and told me he'll tell everyone that I'm gay if I don't make you and Rachel stop hanging out as much... He knows what's going on between you two Quinn, it's obvious. The way she held your hand after you sang a couple of days ago and other than me, she's the only one you can show yourself to."

"If it takes me not being with Rachel for you not to get thrown out the closet, I'll do it Santana.."

"I know you'd do it and I don't want you to.. I just don't want the school to think I'm some freak. I can't help what I'm feeling."

Santana burst into tears and Quinn held her just like she was held outside of the choir room. Santana rarely showed her emotions anymore because she'd been so focused on Quinn and wanting her to be okay. But tonight she cried harder than she knew she could.

Once it started to get dark outside, Santana got up from Quinn's arms and rubbed her eyes, "I think I should go home"

"Okay... I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah.. Thanks for being here for me Q... It means a lot. I didn't mean to just.. Fall apart like that"

"I've done it to you plenty of times San... It was time I took care of you for once."

Santana smiled and made her way home. When she got there, her kitchen was full of people. The coach, Kurt's dad, Mr. Shue, and her mom were all sitting at her table.

"What's going on?"

Coach Sue spoke up, "Come sit down Santana.. As you know I've been running to be mayor and I've set the standard of how things are played out. I haven't been fair with the other people running and have made up lies to get me ahead of the game and it came back to bite me and it affects you."

Mr. Shue cut in, "You should know I have a phone number of a counselor who specializes in this."

Kurts dad then cut in after Mr. Shue, "It's something that I've been through first hand and I'd be happy to help your family through it."

Santana looked around at them, "What- what you talking about?"

Kurts dad continued talking, "Reggie the Sauce Salazar sent me an advanced copy of his latest campaign ad."

The coach tried talking before the video began, "It turns out that he has a niece that goes to our school and overheard a conversation earlier today between you and Finn Hudson."

Santana immediately felt waves of panic and turned to the TV that played Reggie's campaign ad-

_"Sue Sylvester wants to represent Ohio,  
__She says she shares your values,  
__If that's true boy do we have some questions,  
__If you're so into family values why did you promote a lesbian student to be your head cheerleader,  
__and when did you plan on telling Ohio's families?"_

Santana started crying and looked at her mom while talking to everyone else, "I haven't even told my parents yet!"

Her mom gave her sympathetic eyes, "Honey, it's okay. I still love you and I'll always love you."

"This isn't happening.."

Mr. Shue sat there and had a loss for words. Kurt's dad spoke up for everyone, "It'll be okay. My son didn't have a public announcement like this but it'll be fine. We'll try and handle it."

"Just like you handled him getting bullied and having death threats every day for two years? Getting slushied every day without giving the guys who tormented him any punishment?"

Santana ran upstairs and didn't plan on getting out of her room. She couldn't believe any of this was going on. Now everyone was going to know that she was different and in Ohio, being different was a curse."

The ad first ran on TV late at night so she didn't know if anyone saw it. The next day she tried her best to go unnoticed but to her, everyone was looking at the new freak. She texted Quinn earlier that day to let her know that Finn's plan to separate them back fired but knew that Quinn hasn't read it yet because she saw Rachel with Finn all day. When glee club arrived, everyone went to the auditorium for Santana's performance that she planned earlier that week.

Santana got up on stage and hit the microphone a few times making sure it worked, "For this week, I was planning on singing a different song but after yesterday, I decided on choosing something a little more in sync with what's going on."

Brittany and the rest of the club, except for Finn, didn't know what was going on so they were more than confused,

_This isn't who I am._  
_From confidence to self doubt in 60 seconds. _  
_Storming stages and stereos from here to there, _  
_trying to prove that I belong. _  
_Trying to win approval from people that I don't know. _

Santana sang the chorus with all the strength she had to go on and felt weak when the second verse came,

_I'm not larger than life, I'm not taller than trees.  
__Do I mean what I say? Is it just this disease where I never go home.  
__Never telling the truth how this life eats away.  
__Not admitting I'm fake  
__and I'm questioning whether this whole thing was worth it to die poor and all alone?_

She sang the chorus so deeply that her voice was getting raspy and tears fell down. When the next lines came she looked at Brittany and didn't look away,

_**Just don't tell me this doesn't mean the world, **  
**'cause my ears would bleed and my heart would hit the floor.**_

_And I look so strong_  
_when the weight of all the world_  
_don't take its toll._  
_And I'd choose my sides_  
_if I believed in what was right,_  
_but I'm all wrong._

The last note hung in the air as everyone was stunned by the performance that she gave. Everything she felt for the past 24 hours was put on that stage. She glanced down to see Finn whispering something to Rachel while smiling.

She jumped down from the stage and charged at him, "What did you just say to her?!"

Finn looked at Santana and shrugged, "I said I thought you were great."

Santana shook her head, "No, no you're lying."

Rachel spoke up for her boyfriend, "No he literally just said that!"

"You tell her to? Everyone is gonna know now, because of you!"

"The whole school already knows. And you know what? They don't care."

"Not just the school you idiot! Everyone!"

"What are you talking-"

Santana couldn't take any more of his shit. He's acting like he's the good guy? He caused all of this. All her rage built up and she slapped him as hard as she could across his face.

Everyone stayed quiet, even Mr. Shue, as the slap's echo faded into the stage.

* * *

**The song Santana sang was They looked like strong hands (acoustic) by Bayside**


	6. Chapter 6

Santana received 3 days suspension for slapping Finn Hudson and she didn't understand why. She's done a lot worse to people and never so much as received a warning but the second someone deserved it, she got in deep shit. It seemed wrong to her in every angle she looked at it. Finn was never asked about why she slapped him. Her punishment was already decided by the time she made it to the principles office.

She walked to her locker to get her things for the next few days. Santana felt a shift in the air as she passed people. They knew what she really was and weren't afraid of her anymore. They didn't cower away or bother to look in another direction as she walked down the very long hallway. Her shoulders were slumped and she even felt people bump into her (though she doesn't know if it was on purpose). She saw people whispering and look at her with shock. Once Santana was done packing, she saw Brittany at her own locker and decided to head over there.

Brittany watched her walk up and waited for her to speak, "Hey Britt."

"Hey"

"So turns out that you _can_ get punished in this school. I got 3 days suspension for what happened in the auditorium."

"What happened in there San? When I talked to you yesterday, you told me you weren't r-"

Santana looked around and saw everyone side glancing at her, "I know what happened. Can we just not talk about that?"

She continued talking and tried to keep her voice down but everything came out raspy as tears formed but never fell from her eyes, "I-I'm sorry but I'm done Brittany.. All this happened so fast for me. When you tried to... _kiss_ me, it did more damage than anything else. I was going to run after you yesterday but Finn got to me first and black mailed me. I couldn't just tell him I didn't have feelings for you.."

Brittany tried grabbing Santana's arm but Santana flinched back, "Don't."

"Why can't you just be who you are? If people saw how happy you are when you aren't hiding, they'll back off. They just don't know you. Who cares what anyone else thinks anyways? I saw a beautiful girl Wednesday night."

"I'm not ready to deal with this and I know that in order to survive in this school you can't be different from anyone else. I'm not ready to make this a public announcement yet."

She turned and walked away from the scene that was made between herself and Brittany. She never thought she could feel this torn apart from something that never developed. The way people reacted to this only reassured her that being an out lesbian in this school wasn't a very good option for her. But it was too late and now her worse nightmare was slowly unfolding in front of her.

Her mom was waiting outside with the car running when Santana left the school.

"Mija," she said while Santana got into the car, "What happened?"

Santana's tears that formed earlier finally fell while she shook her head, "It's all bullshit mom. This whole school is full of assholes who look down on me."

Ms. Lopez tried comforting her daughter, "They just need to get used to who you are sweetheart-"

"No. I'm not ever going back there. Things are too complicated as it is. I can't be myself at that school and even if I was, no one would accept me anyways."

Her mom sighed knowing she was right, "We'll figure something out. I'm supposed to protect you from people who may hurt you mija. The best we can all do is try to get through the day."

Once Santana reached her bedroom, she let herself crumble and kept crying until her tears ran dry. She was slightly convulsing in her bed, too weak to even lift herself up. Things changed so much for her in just 5 days. Her heart failed her and her sanity was paying for it. She didn't leave her bed for the entire weekend. She refused to eat whatever food her mom gave her but when her suspension started on Monday, her mother tried to reason with her.

"Santana, please try to get out of bed today. Eat a little of the food I made you. I know things are hard for you but you can't starve yourself to death."

"Maybe it'll help with my plan of never going back to McKinley."

"I wanted to discuss this with you over food but since you're resistant to eat I guess I should have this discussion with you now." Ms. Lopez sat on Santana's bed and continued talking, "Honey, how do you feel about transferring schools?"

Santana looked up at her mom, "What do you mean transfer schools?"

Her mother tried to slowly ease her daughter into her own plan for her, "I still have a little money saved up from when your father passed away and I think we should invest it in a better school for you that will accept you for who you are and has a zero tolerance for bullying."

For the first time since Friday, Santana saw a glint of light at the end of the tunnel while her mom continued talking, "It's the Dalton Academy for girls. It's a boarding school and it offers a better education and a safe environment. Would you try to consider making it a possibility?"

Her mom handed her a pamphlet as Santana sat up, "You would do this for me?"

"I need to know that my baby is safe and if that means shipping you away to a prestigious school then so be it. I already called them and said I'd let them know by the end of the day.. What do you say?"

Santana embraced her mom in a tight hug, "Yes. Absolutely yes... Thank you mom."

The next day, She went to her old high school to clean out her locker. While walking out she ran into Brittany again.

Brittany tried walking up to Santana without her running away, "Hey Santana where are you going with all your stuff?"

"I'm transferring to a boarding school a few towns over."

"Is it because you got in trouble?"

Santana sighed and tried to keep her cool, "Yes and no.. Things would just be easier for me if I went to a different school where they don't care about my sexual orientation. I can't be here anymore Britt."

"Why can't you just stay? For me? I know it's hard but I don't know anyone. I already have a horrible reputation and it's only been the first week for me."

The Latina stuttered when realizing that Brittany was still fighting for them, "I-I can't.. You know I can't do that."

Brittany saw Santana look away from her and became angry, "Well it looks like things sure have switched up since kindergarten. Now you're the one leaving me to fend for myself. If you cared about me at all you wouldn't leave me here as some stupid girl that was involved with the 'lesbian cheerio scandal'."

"Please Britt.. It's not like that. You know I would stay if I feel like I could without being bullied to a grave."

"Now you know what it feels like to have to walk away from someone you care about and not having the power to do anything about it."

Brittany turned and walked away, leaving Santana feeling worse than before in the middle of the hallway.


	7. Chapter 7

**[1 Year Later]**

Santana woke up with her friend in her arms. She stretched while cracking a few joints in her body before getting up. Her best friend was taking over the bed causing her body to be cramp later in the night. It didn't help that they had sex which caused her muscles to be sore. It was only casual. They hooked up once in a while to get the sexual frustration out of their system.

Santana was only wearing a tank top and underwear so she picked up the first pair of sweats she saw and pulled them on. After smelling her own morning breath she decided to quickly brush her teeth. Santana then splashed some water in her face and tied her hair back while she was in front of the mirror. _Presentable_

After an hour of eating and catching up on school work, she laid back down and poked the girl in her bed a few times, "Get up"

"Mmmmno."

"Get uuuup."

The girl got her pillow and covered her head, "No."

Santana sighed and flopped herself on her body, "Now will you get up?"

"You're suffocating me!"

"I'm not _that_ heavy. Come on we're gonna be late for class AGAIN. Move your lazy ass up or I'll go all Lima Heights."

"First of all I'm pretty sure Lima Heights doesn't need you to rep them and second, you're not even dressed yet. I'll get up when you start to get ready."

Santana rolled her eyes and gave up on her. She got out her plaid skirt and blazer and placed them on her bed. Her friend finally got up once she heard Santana getting ready.

She stretched out and walked past Santana while rubbing her eyes, "Remind me why we have to be up this morning if we_ live_ on campus?"

"Chaselynn, you know why. If you're not up by at least 7, it takes the jaws of life to get you out of bed. Especially since we've been getting our mack on all night. I wants my breakfast."

Her friend gave up trying to convince her that it was the crack of dawn and started to put on her uniform. Santana finished buttoning up her white top and slid her arms through the blazer. after adjusting it a few times she smiled at herself in the mirror. _Thank god for school girl uniforms._

Before she walked out of her room, Chaselynn caught her and put Santana's tie on for her, "There... Now it's perfect." She cleared her throat at how couply she sounded and tried to act like she didn't notice, "I prefer not being up at all but might as well be looking decent than thrashed."

Santana pushed her friend at the rude comment as they walked out of her room and started heading towards the main building. Santana felt so happy that she didn't receive dirty looks or whispers while passing by her peers. This was everything she could hope for. _The only thing that's missing is my Brittany. _Santana quickly shook off the passing thought and made her way to the cafeteria. _She's not my Brittany._

Chaselynn sat down in front of Santana and started picking at her food, "So where are you going for Vacation?"

"Back to Lima. I miss my Mom like crazy. She's been bugging me to go down there."

Her friend threw her a condescending smile, "Oh how sweet."

"Shut up. I rather her come down here but whatever."

"Why?"

Santana looked down at her food. She hasn't told her friend about how much the people there freak her out. She's only told her that they broad casted her on TV so she had to move, "Because I rather not be in a small town with idiot people judging me as I walk down the street."

"Yeah but you used to be the HBIC am I wrong? Why the hell would that commercial matter anymore?"

"Being gay isn't really a good thing. And the whole public announcement about me being a closeted buzz cut dyke wasn't exactly charming anyone. Can we drop it?"

Chaselynn saw how Santana was acting and tried to change the subject, "When does your flight leave?"

"Early in the morning which means I have to practically spend the night at the airport. I should be in Lima around noonish. Why? Are you too _attached_ to me to see me leave?"

"Pfff. No."

"Awww is Chase gonna miss me while I'm gone?"

Chaselynn's face turned red but she covered it up quickly, "I got along just fine before you came. I'm just sad I'm gonna have to go out of my way for a casual fuck."

"Yeah whatever. I'll only be down there for like a week so don't pop a blood vessel."

* * *

Santana made it back home in a few short hours. She was automatically greeted by a very big hug from her mom.

"I missed you too much Santana. It's hard being away from you for months at a time.. How are you?"

"I'm good mom."

Once her mom stopped hugging her they made their way to the car. Santana got sick on the drive home. Seeing the familiar streets and passing by her old high school made her stomach weak.

"Mija, you wouldn't be bothered if we made a quick stop at the market would you? I just have to get a few more things so I can make a real banquet for you."

Santana hated being more than 10 ft from her house when she visited but she nodded her head and bit her bottom lip. She was sure a few minutes in the market wouldn't cause a rally. _You never know, Lima is hell on earth. _

She got out of the car with her mom and walked into the little store. Her mom left her by the front so she could get what she needed without Santana breathing over her shoulder. Santana looked around and decided to flip through the magazines while waiting.

A familiar voice came from behind, "Santana?"

Santana heart completely stopped for a few seconds as she slowly turned around on her heel, "Heeeey Brittany."

Brittany looked so beautiful to Santana. Her hair was down and the snow made her blue eyes pop. Santana let her eyes linger from Brittany's smile to her breasts. _Fuck me_.

"How's the new school?"

"It's uhm... It's great... It's really great."

Santana mentally slapped herself for being a babbling idiot. _Dammit Santana this is the first time seeing her in a year and all you're saying is it's great?! _

She tried to salvage what was left of the conversation, "No one is giving me shit for being gay so that's nice.. Actually it's really nice." Brittany smiled and nodded so Santana mustered up her courage and tried to be bold, "So we haven't talked like at all since I left and things are a lot better for me and now that I'm here for the weekend do you think-"

Artie came rolling from the candy isle, "Brittany they don't have any Pop Rocks so we can't try-" He looked at who Brittany was talking to and immediately stopped what he was going to say, "OH HEY SANTANA SUP GIRL. I didn't think I'd see you here any time soon."

Santana's mouth dropped when she realized she just made a complete idiot of herself. Completely flustered she tried to slow her heartbeat down, "I'm just here for the weekend to visit my mom"

Artie noticed the awkward tension, "Well Brittany and I have to go if we're gonna uhmm make it in time for our plaaaans."

Santana's smile tightened, "Oh you and Brittany are dating?"

"Yeaaahh sort of. For a while now.. Come on Britt.."

Brittany didn't sense any of the awkward tension and turned to Santana, "I'll catch up with you later? Maybe over coffee?"

Santana nodded her head while her jaw clenched.

Brittany didn't seem to notice, "Okay let me give you my cell number."

Brittany bent down and grabbed a pen out of Artie's pocket protector and grabbed Santana's hand. The feeling Santana had almost made her knees give out. It was as if the past year never happened and they were back near the swings with Brittany's lips almost touching hers... _Stop thinking about that Santana!_

Once Brittany had finished writing down her number she gave a warm smile to Santana, "Well it was nice seeing you"

Santana just stood there not knowing what to say so she gave a wild wave. _Oh my god you did NOT just wave._

Her mom came from the register and started walking towards Santana, "Are you alright? You look a bit sick."

Santana touched wear Brittany wrote her number and felt it tingle, "I-I"m fine mom.. Are we done here?"

"Yes. Now tell me everything that's happened since you last visited."

* * *

**Please Review! I'd like to know if this is turning out good for you guys or what :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Warning- Rated M Brittana and cute Faberry. Just amazingly cute Quinn in general!**

* * *

Santana paced back and forth in her old bedroom. She soon hears the doorbell ring and her mom answer a few moments later. Before she could prepare herself her door flies open and a body tackles her on her bed.

"Tana!"

Santana tries to get Quinn off of her but fails, "Get off of me Q! You're acting like a child!"

Quinn lies on top of her best friend and didn't budge, "I don't care. I missed you!"

"Yeah I missed you too crazy. How've you been?"

"Amazing! I can't believe you're here for a whole week.. I want to spend every second I can with you."

Santana laughed and pushed Quinn off of her. She gets up to look at Quinn full on. She felt a wide grin spread across her face without hesitation. Her friend looked really good. She could tell that things have moved on and she didn't look so torn apart.

Santana sat on Quinn's lap and hugged her, "How's your girlfriend?"

"She told me to say hi and attack you which I already did. When are we gonna all get together and hang out San?"

"I don't know probably when I don't get grossed out by the excessive PDA between you two. Seriously when I Skype you it's like internet porn all up in my face."

Quinn glances at Santana's hand and sees Brittany's phone number, "Well maybe we can double with whoever this is on your hand and it'll be settled."

"I really don't think I can call her"

"Oh is the big bad Santana from Dalton scared now? I thought you got some up there."

Santana spoke before her mind caught up with her and regretted it right after, "Yeah but not from _Brittany_."

Quinn's jaw dropped and a huge smiled formed, "That's whose number that is? You have to call her Santana."

"Yeah but she's dating-"

"Call her"

"I doubt she's-"

"Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaall her!"

Before she could answer, Quinn took Santana's phone and dialed in Brittany's number. Santana didn't think she'd actually press the call button until it was ringing.

"QUINN FABRAY!"

"Now you have to talk to her."

Santana tried giving the phone back to Quinn, "No no no no no no no"

They heard someone on the line answer and Santana almost had a heart attack causing her to fall off of Quinn's lap and hit the floor with her butt. She threw the phone on Quinn's lap and hid her face.

Quinn eventually talked to Brittany herself once she saw how childish Santana was going to act, "Hey Britt It's Quinn. Santana's busy getting ready but wanted me to call... Catch up and get coffee... Okay how does tomorrow around 6 sound? Good! byyyyye Britttt!"

Once she hung up the phone Santana smacked Quinn's arm, "Why did you do that?!"

Quinn shrugged while rubbing her arm, "Because you needed a push and I'm a good enough of a friend to do that for you."

"What am I supposed to do? She's with Artie now and I'm pretty sure he already won since he's in a wheelchair."

"You don't know that and Brittany isn't one to give in to the petty card like that. You have an equal shot at her and what I remember she tried to kiss you."

Santana muttered under her breath, "And then I rejected her causing me to be black mailed and transferred to another school."

"You're all she talked about for weeks after you moved and all the things you guys never said and what she wished would've happened. Now stop being weird and be the confident lesbian girl you grew to be."

Santana tried to hold back a smile and eventually gave up trying to be mad at Quinn, "You've hung around Rachel Berry far too much. She's definitely rubbed off on you in a bad way."

* * *

Santana impatiently waits in the Coffee shop for a few minutes before deciding Brittany would probably ditch her. But she comes to that conclusion far too soon when she sees the girl walk through the door.

She feels her heart beat hard enough that she could feel it in her ears and her palms get damp. This girl has been driving her crazy for 13 years now. Santana feels like she's been the only girl that has got her this worked up.

"Hey San."

She looked at Brittany with her eyebrows crunched together and her eyes squinted just a little bit. She quickly realized how she must look and made herself smile through her thoughts. She went up to hug her and felt a pang hit her chest until she let go.

They easily talked about school and upcoming college applications that they had to fill out. Santana felt like she could listen to the girl talk forever.

Brittany drank her coffee and switched subjects, "So are you seeing anybody?"

"No.. Well not seriously. I have _seen_ people but they weren't my girlfriend or anything." _Way to go Santana._

"It's always nice to keep the door open for opportunities I guess."

Santana looked down at her coffee cup, "Are you and Artie keeping the door open? For _opportunities_ I mean.."

"Oh no. We're not really seeing anyone else. But we've had a few problems come up here and there recently."

"About what?"

Brittany looked down and her face turned red as she spoke, "He's been concerned that I haven't gotten completely over you yet."

Santana's heart stopped as her eyes flashed to Brittany's. She tried not to stutter as she talked, "Oh.. Well what... What did you say?"

"I told him he was being ridiculous."

Santana's face fell as she realized that Brittany might be completely over her now. She kept feeling that she blew it and looked up to see Brittany look like she felt defeated also. She knew that no matter what she would try to cheer her up regardless of the cause.

Santana reached out for Brittany's hand, "Let's go to our park."

Almost everything in the park was covered with snow except for their swing. Santana gestured for Brittany to sit down and gently pushed her. After a few minutes, Brittany jumped off and started chasing Santana around the park. They both fell many times against the sloshy snow but didn't care. Brittany grabbed Santana from behind causing Santana to fall on top of her. They both laughed and Santana realized how close they were on the floor now.

Brittany started to realize it too but didn't give any sign that she was uncomfortable, "You know how I said I told Artie he was being ridiculous about thinking I still had feelings for you?"

Santana only nodded as the blonde continued, "I was lying. I couldn't stop thinking about you for the past year and now that your here, it's as if you never left."

Santana tried to take a deep breath but her heart was pounding too hard. She licked her lips as she watched Brittany look at her with eyes that screamed for her to kiss her.

Santana slowly went in and barely kissed Brittany. When she opened her eyes she saw Brittany trying to search for something in Santana's face and soon went in to kiss Santana more urgent than before. Santana was surprised to feel Brittany's tongue brush against her lower lip asking for entry but didn't go against it.

Santana felt something grow hotter inside of her and realized she wanted more of Brittany. She stopped kissing Brittany on the mouth and started kissing down her jaw line and against her pulse point. She felt Brittany pull her closer and buck her hips against her.

She wanted more but realized they were still in the park where anyone can pass by at any moment. She laughed and tried pulling herself off of Brittany but she didn't want to stop causing Santana to fall back on top of her again.

"Keep going San."

Santana felt confidence surge through her and whispered in Brittany's ear, "Quiero que tan malo...I can't do what I want to do to you here."

Brittany had to tell herself to breathe again and nodded her head.

They ended up going to Brittany's place and almost attacked each other once her door was closed. Santana pushed Brittany on her bed and slid her shirt up. Brittany's breathing hitched as Santana whispered in her ear and took her bra off. Brittany was just as urgent with taking Santana's clothes off but Santana wasn't as abiding. After much fighting over the dominance in the bed, Santana finally gave up and let Brittany top her while wriggling Santana off of her clothes.

But once they were all off, Santana flipped her over and whispered in her ear while nipping at her neck, "Quiero lamerte hasta que te vengas en mi boca mil veces"

"San as hot as you sound talking Spanish I can't understand what you're saying."

Santana gave a throaty chuckle and explained what she said in her ear while running her hand over her body, "It means I want to lick you until you come in my mouth a thousand times."

She took off Brittany's pants to find that she wasn't wearing any underwear. She smiled and she stroked her finger up Brittany's center causing her to shudder and her muscles to clench. Santana kissed Brittany all the way down until she reached her clit and gently stroked it with her tongue. Once she saw Brittany clench for something to claw on she got her finger and gently slid it in Brittany and rocked back and forth as Brittany moaned in pleasure. Brittany soon enough slid a finger in Santana causing her to throw her head back. Once Santana felt her body tense up she started thrusting faster into Brittany to get friction with herself as well causing both girls to orgasm simultaneously.

Santana laid on Brittany and held her, "I love you"

_Shit._

"San..."

Santana sprung up and ran her hands through her hair, "Yeah I'm sorry I said that.."

Brittany got annoyed and demanded her to come back to her. She wrapped her body around Santana and kissed her. They stayed like that until the morning came and Santana's phone went off.

Santana got up and answered seeing it was Quinn, "What do you want?"

"How'd it go?"

"It's still going."

Quinn was taken back at the answer, "You're with her right now?! SANTANA you did the dirty didn't you?"

"Shut up."

"Oh my god just wait till I tell Rachel.. RAAAAAAAAAACHHEELL GUESS WHAT!?"

Santana got annoyed with how couply it got on the other end of the line, "I'm hanging up now."

She hung up her phone and started to put on her clothes. Once she was dressed she gently woke up Brittany.

"Hey, I'm gonna go okay?"

"Mmmkay.. Call me to make plans Sanny."

Santana kissed her on the forehead and slipped out of the house without making much noise. She wondered if the goofy smile on her face would ever falter.


	9. Chapter 9

Santana woke up to her phone buzzing under her pillow. She figured it was Quinn and answered without looking at the phone, "Quinn, can you wait till I get some sleep in me before talking about your unusual hard-on about Brittany sleeping with me?"

"Whose Quinn and Brittany? They sound pretty hot, can I meet them?"

Santana shot up from her bed and pushed her hair back while silently cursing to herself, "Oh shit! Sorry Chase I thought you were someone else."

There was a hint of jealousy that Chase hoped Santana wouldn't notice, "So you're already started fucking someone out there? Can't say I'm surprised Lopez."

"I'm sure it's none of your business but if you must know everything about my life, yeah I did have sex. Why are you even calling me?"

Chaselynn stayed quiet on the other end of the line. She didn't have an exact answer about why she was calling Santana. She really just wanted to hear her voice but she didn't want to tell Santana that.

Quinn walked in to Santana's room and sat down on top of her. Santana motioned for her to wait and pointed towards the phone. After a few seconds Quinn got impatient and started bugging her until she could have her full attention.

Chaselynn kept talking, not noticing the struggling noises coming from Santana's end of the line, "I just don't understand why you have to travel to Hickville to get some when you have a willing participant at your school."

Santana rolled her eyes at the phone while struggling to get a word out. Quinn was now jumping on top of Santana and covering her mouth making everything sound muffled, "Quinn, stop."

Eventually she pushed Quinn off the bed and answered back, "It's not like I planned to have sex with the girl. Look, I'll talk to you later about it. I'm being attacked right now so I have to go."

Santana said goodbye and threw her phone on her desk. She looked at Quinn who was on the floor laughing uncontrollably, "Real nice Fabray. You're really classy."

"Well, when the time comes... Who was that on the phone?"

"My friend from Dalton and my sorta hookup buddy. I thought she was you on the phone but I forgot you like to come over and jump on top of me to bug me."

Quinn kept looking at Santana until she smiled. She rolled off the bed and on her best friend's lap, "So what brings you here?"

"You know what! I wanna know how you got in Brittany's pants yesterday!"

"I can honestly tell you that it just sorta happened.. It happened fast though. One minute we're at the park and the next we're at her house, naked in bed, getting our cuddle on", Santana bit her lip and decided to tell Quinn the rest, "I think I messed up Q."

"How?"

"Okay well after we had sex, I told her I loved her."

Quinn's jaw dropped and she smacked Santana on her arm, "Why would you do that?"

"Ouch! I don't know! I was on a weird after-sex high. It just sorta slipped out but I can't deny that I do sorta feel like that.", Santana sat up and looked at Quinn, "I mean I've known the girl forever. I may not have talked to her for over a decade but even when I was little I knew I liked her and now it's like every time I see her it's as if I can be myself."

"You should tell her that. I'm sure she feels the same way."

Santana knew Brittany probably did feel the same way but didn't want to approach the subject with her right away. She wanted to enjoy the moment.

"I'll tell her when you tell Berry to kiss my ass!"

Quinn smacked Santana's arm again and stuck her tongue out, "You're just jealous because I have a smart, talented, beautiful girlfriend."

"Right. The girl that calls you lion Quinn in bed. She's such a keeper Q.", this time Santana dodged Quinn's hand and ran away.

* * *

Brittany and Santana hung out most of the time Santana was in Lima. They did everything except talk about the night they had sex. Santana was afraid to touch the subject but the more time she spent with Brittany, the closer she got to blurting out her feelings again. They would hold hands and laugh most of the time. Sometimes they would even kiss each other and silence would hang in the air afterwords with Santana's 'I love you's' streaming through her mind. It made Santana feel like her body caught fire and tingle like cold water was running down her at the same time

They planned to hang out the day before Santana had to leave for school and met at their park. They sat on the bench holding each other quietly for a long time before Santana turned and kissed Brittany softly. When they parted and looked into each others eyes the only thing they saw was the love they felt for one another. Santana stood up and led Brittany by the swings.

Once they got there she turned and stopped Brittany, "I wanted to talk about what happened the day we first hung out."

"I thought we decided not to talk about that?"

Santana nodded her head, "I know, but I'm leaving tomorrow Britt. We can't just ignore it anymore.", Santana took a deep breath before continuing, "Before you came to Lima, I was a bitch. I was more like _the_ bitch of McKinley High. I didn't let anyone in and I liked it that way. I could tear anyone down with just a few words. But you showed up and changed everything. I couldn't just wave you off and keep myself from falling from the top. I knew that I had these _feelings.._ Feelings for you that I could barely hide from everyone, let alone myself. I wasn't ready to deal with the consequences of what that meant until now. I'm ready to deal with everything that comes with being gay... Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

Brittany shook her head and looked down, "No... Not really."

"I want to be with you. I'm not afraid of the talks or the looks anymore. When Kurt came out, the bullying went from bad to worse. He was pushed around everyday and none of the teachers or the principle gave a shit. They looked the other way while he was being thrown into dumpsters and it took his life being threatened for them to care. I was scared of what everyone would say behind my back if I came out but I knew that I had to accept that I loved you and I still do. I moved so I wouldn't have to deal with the horrible people at that school or my feelings. But I realized that I don't care anymore. I don't want to be with random girls back at Dalton. I just want you okay?", Brittany stayed silent as tears fell down Santana's cheeks and whispered, "Please say you love me back... _Please_"

Brittany looked up and brushed the stray hair away from Santana's face, "Of course I love you. I do, and I would totally be with you if it weren't for Artie.", Santana shook her head in confusion, "Artie?"

"I love him too! I don't want to hurt him. It's not right, I can't break up with him."

Santana went from being hurt to being angry. It was her only defense against having her heart being slowly torn in two, "Yes you can! He's just a stupid boy!"

"But it wouldn't be right. Santana you have to know that if me and Artie were to ever break up and if I'm lucky enough that your still single, I'm all yours. _Proudly so_."

Santana flinched away from Brittany's touch and backed away, "Yeah, well wow. Who ever thought being fluid meant you could be so _stuck_. What about this past week? The kissing, holding hands? Was that all nothing?"

"No... I didn't know what it was and it felt really good but I can't just drop everything."

"Yeah, obviously it wasn't good enough if you're still with _him. _Brittany I would've stayed for_ you_. I would've come back to this shitty fucking town for _you_, don't you get that?"

Brittany tried hugging her, "I'm sorry San-"

Santana pushed her away and started walking away, "Just don't. It was stupid of me to come back into your life expecting us to be together after you fucked me."

Just like the other times they've stormed off, they didn't say goodbye and everything fell apart. Santana figured it was because she couldn't stand letting someone important go and thought maybe Brittany felt the same way.

* * *

When Santana arrived back at her dorm room she was surprised to see her friend laying in her bed.

"Chase I'm really not in the mood right now. Can we do this some other time?"

Chaselynn got up and went over to Santana, "What's wrong?"

"I just don't feel like fucking right now! Is that good enough for you?"

She fell into tears and Chase led her to the bed, "Is this about that girl you mentioned over the phone?"

Santana nodded her head and let her friend rub her back, "I love her and she blew me off for some guy."

"Well whoever had the nerve to blow you off is fucking insane San. You're the perfect girl."

Santana turned and kissed Chase Passionately. She bit Chaselynn's lip until it bled and pushed her down on the bed. Chaselynn didn't care that Santana only had sex with her to take out her aggression because she knew that Santana was here with her while the other girl was nowhere near. She knew she wasn't Santana's first choice but she could settle with being her last choice.


	10. Chapter 10

Santana woke up in Chaselynn's arms the next morning. She was exhausted from the flight to her dorm and the angry sex they had the night before. She saw Chaselynn's body and felt bad for how much damage she'd done to her last night. There were hickeys and bruises trailing down her body with bite marks to match. Santana almost regretted using her last night but there was so much anger and hurt that it was going to come out one way or another. It helped that Chaselynn was ready to go the minute she got home. Santana wondered what it would've been like if Brittany had dropped Artie to be with her like she hoped. Would she have only came back to collect her things so she could move back to Lima? She kept thinking about what Brittany might've been doing this morning and remembered that she was probably with her boyfriend doing things that Santana wished she could.

Right when Santana was going to get up, Chaselynn's arm tightened around her, "No, not yet. Let me enjoy this for a few more minutes."

Santana rolled her eyes and still got up against Chaselynn's will, "Look, I'm really not in the mood to be lovey dovey right now. I got my ass handed to me in Lima like right before I came here. The sex was great and all but I'm really not up for morning cuddles."

The comments Santana made shot straight through Chaselynn and made her regret letting Santana be rough on her last night. But she saw how Santana quickly regretted snapping at her and took off the tough girl mask to show how hurt she was.

Chaselynn spoke up trying to ignore the snide comments, "You know I meant it last night right? I meant all of it. You're the perfect girl San.."

Santana paused before tightening her hair in a pony tail and going to lay back down. She didn't know what mess she got herself into. It wasn't like she was going to simply get over Brittany. It wasn't that easy. But maybe if she had someone to share with how lonely she was, it wouldn't hurt as much.

She started humming and softly sing the song Brittany performed for her over a year ago, "_Best friends can become strangers..._"

"What was that?"

"Nothing.. I was just remembering something from a while back. But I was also thinking, I just got let down by someone I love no more than 48 hours ago and you're here telling me how perfect I am.. Chase, I don't feel anything more than friendship with us. I mean I feel like complete shit but I can tell that what we're doing is weird.

Chaselynn sighed and got up, "I wanna ask you something. Who has been there for you since you got to this school?"

"You have."

"Okay, and who has been in this bed with you for a year now?"

"You.. I don't really see where you're going with this-"

"I have been _here_ for you. Through all of it and even though I act like I don't give a shit about any of the serious stuff going on, I do. I've never cared about someone so much. I get that I'm not your first choice. But she bailed on you when you needed her and you were even ready to move back to that hick town. I'm still here and maybe one day you'll realize that I'm a better fit for you than she is. All I hear about is you guys fighting and having problems. You've _never_ had a problem with me and you spent more time with me than with her."

Santana shook her head, "But it's different with her than with you. Most of the fighting wasn't her fault, it was because I was too scared to be who I am but-"

"But what? Has that town's beliefs suddenly changed? Santana, please. They probably have a bigger stick up their ass than before. You really think they'd accept you for who you are? I accept you and this school has always backed you up 100%. I don't need to be your first pick for a girlfriend but I can start being something more to you now. I can be here for you and help you with whatever you're going through. I know you need time and I'll give it to you. Just give me a shot."

Santana leaned on Chaselynn's shoulder and kissed her neck, "I do need time. I love her and I know I'll get over it, but not right now okay? I can't just throw away the feelings I had. You're my best friend and I love you."

"I'm not worried about it. I know you'll fall in love with me someday Santana Lopez."

* * *

**[2 months later]**

Chaselynn sat comfortably waiting for her girlfriend to wake up. She was glad with how much they got to grow together in the course of the couple of months that passed. She knew that Santana wasn't completely over Brittany. But Chase knew that Santana meant it when she admitted that she loved her. Maybe it wasn't as strong as her love for Brittany but with time she knew that maybe it could grow even stronger.

Santana woke up to the smell of flowers and hid her face once she saw the bouquet of Lilies in her girlfriend's hand, "Oh my god you didn't!"

"The best for my best. Come on you didn't even see it all yet!"

Santana slowly lifted the pillow from her eyes and saw a tiny canvas on a small easel with the words _"I Dare You to Love Me"_ painted on with a little stuffed frog next to it.

"I thought we said we're not celebrating Valentines day together? This is way too much. You realize you're probably the cheesiest person on the planet right?"

"Well, I remember how you constantly said you loved that movie with Piper Perabo and decided to one up it."

Santana threw her pillow at Chaselynn, "It's called Imagine Me and You and it's a pretty good movie!"

"I'd rather call it a lesbian chick flick. But since I knew how cheesy it was and how it dripped of sappy romance I decided to try and 'woo' you. I never really thought you were a chick flick type to be honest."

Santana got up and hugged Chaselynn as tight as she could and whispered, "Thank you"

She then turned to the flowers to put them in vases before laying back down. Her phone kept buzzing in her blazer pocket but it was too muffled for anyone to notice.

* * *

**Brittany's POV**

**[1 Day Before Valentines Day]**

Artie rolled up to Brittany by her locker, "I need to know what was going on between you and Santana?"

"Nothing."

"It didn't seem like nothing Brittany. It seemed like something, which is always more than nothing. I can tell that you're still broken up about her leaving."

Brittany tried shushing him, "Calm down Artie."

"Are you cheating on me with her?"

Brittany looked away, "I can't answer that.. Things were complicated for a while but I fixed it okay?"

"Don't you see that she's manipulating you? Do you see what's going on here? You're the hottest girl in this school and I wear saddle shoes on legs that don't work. This shouldn't be happening. Not because I'm in a wheelchair but because I'm obsessed with angry birds and my mom cuts my hair."

"I like your hair cut."

Artie tried to look in Brittany's eyes, "I saw the way she looked at you at the market that day. It wasn't just a 'let's be friends' look. It's hard enough to believe _this_ is real. If I found out that you spent even a little time sharing yourself with someone else, that there's _one_ other person in your life that can provide for you things that I'm supposed to provide... It's just too much for me to take and Santana knows that. Shes taking advantage of it to break us up."

"No, Everybody thinks she's a bad person but she's not! I've known her for-"

"God Brittany, why are you so stupid."

Brittany shook her head and hid her tears, "You were the only person at this school to never call me that."

"What am I supposed to do? She's not a nice person Brittany and I don't understand why you like her. She's just using you. But the nice guy always finishes last don't they? I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry."

Artie left Brittany and the first thing she did was go home and sulk alone in her room. It wasn't fun to be dumped the day before Valentines day. She cared about him so much but she couldn't deny her feelings even when Artie asked. She tried her best to lie but it was obvious that she couldn't stop loving her.

Brittany woke up the next morning and decided to try calling Santana to talk. Since things ended with Artie, maybe she would at least get to settle things with Santana.


	11. Chapter 11

**[Brittany's POV]**

Quinn and Rachel watched Brittany freak out while holding each other on Quinn's bed.

Brittany tried to stop pacing around Quinn's room while trying to decide what to do. She eventually got frustrated and sat down, "I'm going over there. She'd have to talk to me if I'm there."

"Brittany think rationally. She has a girlfriend. She's _happy_."

"I don't care Quinn. I can't just sit around waiting for her to answer her phone!"

"She's not answering my texts or calls either! It is Valentines day. She's probably spending the day with Chase and isn't carrying her phone."

"Well if I fly tonight, I won't be there till tomorrow. I need to know what could have been or what could still be."

Rachel sat in Quinn's lap playing with her fingers, "I think it's great that you're going out to Dalton to take control of your future. It reminds me of when Quinn confessed her feelings to me."

* * *

Brittany got off the plane and tried calling Santana again only to have it go to voicemail. She figured she'd find out where the girl was through the school office. When she got to the school and found her way around she stood in front of Santana's door for a little while not really knowing what to say once she came face to face with her.

The door opened unexpectantly and Brittany looked up to see Santana stunned. She didn't know what to say and just stood there stuttering her words. Santana closed the door behind her and looked at Brittany as if she wasn't real, "What are you doing here?"

"I-I just wanted- I wanted to talk to you. Artie dumped me and I thought we could talk about that."

Santana ran her fingers through her hair and motioned her to wait for a bit. She went back in her room and shortly came back out with a blonde girl with short hair and black rimmed glasses on. The girl was dressed in the school uniform and gave a noticeable fake smile towards Brittany.

"Hey I'm Chaselynn, Santana's _girlfriend_. It's nice to meet you."

Chaselynn reached out and shook Brittany's hand with a tight grip, "I'm Brittany."

"Oh _Brittany_ huh? And what brings you to Dalton?"

"I came to talk to Santana."

Chaselynn's smile tightened and her eyes narrowed while looking Brittany up and down, "Well it was_ so nice_ meeting you."

She turned and tucked Santana's hair behind her ear before kissing her lightly but passionately and whispered something Brittany couldn't hear into her ear before going back into the room. Chaselynn looked slightly broken before closing the door.

Santana motioned for them to walk down the hall until they reached the courtyard outside, "So what happened?"

Brittany took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, "It was everything. My feelings for you and what happened a couple of months ago came up. He kept saying that you were trying to tear us apart knowing that he can't take me being with anyone else."

Santana shook her head while trying to stay calm, "Well, I wasn't trying to plot anything. I thought that we had something real and I wasn't going to stop that."

"Had?"

"Brittany I'm with Chaselynn now. The day I came back here, she was there for me and has been nothing but perfect to me. You obviously know nothing about that."

"Did I do something wrong?"

Santana squinted her eyes and tilted her head, "I don't know. Did you? All I know is, you blew me off to be with stubbles McCripple pants. It's fine.. It's your loss because I get the chance to be with Chaselynn and experience the relationship you couldn't give me."

"You're still going to be with Chaselynn? But you told me you were in love with me."

"I honestly don't know what I was thinking. I spent a lot of time trying to get over you and it's surprising that once I finally feel happy you fly down here to take that away from me."

"It wasn't like that and you know it. I told you that if he ever ended it with me I would be yours."

Santana lifted up her hands in defense, "I can't do this right now. I have to get back to my room before Chase starts worrying. Where are you staying?"

"I haven't actually figured that out yet."

"Seriously? Chase is going to kill me but you can sleep on my floor tonight."

* * *

Santana stepped out for a few minutes while Brittany got ready for bed.

When she came out of the bathroom Chaselynn was waiting there for her, "I don't like you being here."

"Yeah, I got that."

Chaselynn shook her head and crossed her arms across her chest, "You _do_ realize that I'll do anything to protect Santana."

"And by 'protecting' her you mean keeping her far away from myself?"

"She may not be completely over you yet but she_ is_ getting over you. I'm not going to let you walk in here and think she's just going to go back with you."

Brittany stepped closer to Chaselynn and glared, "If she doesn't want to be with me then you have nothing to worry about. I love her and maybe we've had our problems in our past but I'm not here to wreck anyone's relationship. I just want some answers."

"I'm leaving for the night so you can sort that out with her. I want you gone tomorrow and I don't want to hear about you _ever_ again if she still chooses me by the time you get on that plane. Got it?"

Brittany nodded her head as Santana came back in and kissed Chaselynn goodbye before closing the door.

Santana slowly turned around, "I'm guessing you spoke to Quinn before coming down here?"

"I did"

"What'd she say?"

Brittany shrugged while setting up a little nest for herself on the floor, "That you were happy.", Brittany gave a sad smile before continuing, "I could see that you are.. Rachel on the other hand was totally stoked that I was coming here."

Santana rolled her eyes, "I'm sure the little dwarf was."

"Come on, you can't be mad at Rachel for supporting my decision."

"Yes I can.", Santana paused before sitting on the floor with Brittany with her legs crossed, "Do you consider Rachel a good friend of yours?"

"Yeah I mean.. I can see myself as her bridesmaid at Quinn's wedding. I would do anything for them. They're like family"

Santana shifting a little looking uncomfortable, "Okay.. Well what about you and I?"

"I love you Santana. I love you more than I loved anyone else in this world. All I know about you and I is _because_ of that, I think anything is possible."

Brittany sat there looking at the floor when she felt Santana hug her and say, "When did you get so smart?", and right as she said that Brittany smiled the biggest she felt like she could.

"Brittany, I'm not gonna lie to you. I have felt things the minute I saw you when I opened the door that I didn't know I could feel anymore. But I realized last time I visited Lima that you can't just turn back time."

"Why not?"

"You chose Artie. I choose Chaselynn. You can't expect me to drop everything for you. I thought you would do that for me and it left me feeling like I was an idiot."

Santana got up and climbed into her bed as Brittany's mind wandered on something else, "What did Chaselynn whisper to you before you went to talk to me?"

"She told me she loved me and to come back to her. You coming here was a mistake Brittany... I have loved you since the first time I saw you. It's hard to not just jump on you like I did at your house. But we both moved on and we can't expect things out of each other that we can't give. I love you so much that it kills Chaselynn."

Brittany nodded her head, "I love you too Santana. I'm not going to force you to choose between her and I. But I want you to know that I'll love you no matter what." and with that said she slowly dozed off.

When she woke up, Santana was nowhere to be found. She started getting her things together and tried to call her when the door opened. Brittany ended the call before realizing it was Chaselynn that walked in instead of Santana.

"What are _you_ still doing here?"

"My plane doesn't leave until noon"

"That's a long time to wait for a plane. Did you even try to talk to her last night about your _feelings_?"

"Yeah I did."

"Well good thing she broke it to you then. She didn't want to have the embarrassment of showing you out the door. It's funny how I'm the one who has to do it."

"She's not even saying goodbye?"

"No. She said that she couldn't even be around you for much longer. She went on a morning run to avoid the talk with you. So make sure you have all your shit before you leave."

* * *

**[Santana's POV]**

Santana went on her morning run and met up with Chaselynn as she got out of her car at a coffee shop, "Hey babe."

"Hey, how'd it go?"

Santana bit her lip nervously and shook her head, "I don't know."

"Well at least it's over now right? We can go back to our lives and not worry about if you would choose her over me or not."

Chaselynn switched subjects while Santana zoned out. She still didn't know if she'd choose Brittany over her because she's been keeping Chaselynn's best interest in front of her own. Santana didn't think it was fair that she had to sit on the side lines of her own love life. _God Santana why can't you just admit your own feelings instead of forcing it?_

That's when it clicked, "I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"I thought I could just blow her off but I can't. I have to go."

Santana didn't know what time her plane left but she ran fast to try to catch her at the apartment.


	12. Chapter 12

Santana ran into her room to find Chaselynn sitting there, "Chaselynn?" Santana looked around to see she was the only one there and gave a confused look, "I thought I just left you at the coffee shop.. Where's Brittany?"

"You chose _me_ in the end Santana. You knew that I could be better for you."

Santana got frustrated and threw her hands out, "No, it's the end _now _and I choose her."

"This is _bullshit_ you know? I've loved you since day _one_ and I worked so hard for us to get where we are and you still choose that stupid girl."

"She is _anything_ but stupid. The problem with you is that you _have been_ working for us to be together. With Brittany we don't have to work because it just clicks."

"It's a little late now though don't you think? Do you even see her around? She's already on her way to fly back to Lima.", Chaselynn stepped towards Santana to grab her hands, "Why can't you just accept that I'm just as good as her? I can even be better for you."

Santana ripped her hands away from Chaselynn's grasp, "Because you're not. This mess is my fault and I know that. I thought that maybe I could get over her and being with you could almost be as good but you're a bigger mess than I thought. I love you but I can't ever love you like I love her. I'm sorry for leading you on and I admit that I made a mistake about this."

Santana walked back out of her room and practically ran towards her car. She had no idea what time Brittany's plane was but she hoped it wasn't anytime soon. When she finally made it to the airport she ran in and directly went where the flights were posted to see if Brittany already left.

She started talking to herself out of panic, "Please don't be on that plane Brittany. _Please_."

"I thought you weren't saying goodbye to me."

Santana turned to see Brittany looking obviously upset at her, "Why would I do that?"

"Because Chase-"

Santana cut her off and started getting impatient, "Why would you believe her Brittany? You know me a lot better than that."

"You're right. I do know you a lot better than that. But I figured that if she's willing to go through the trouble of keeping you then you're probably a lot happier with her."

"You couldn't be more wrong. I realized something this morning while I was out on my run.", Brittany nodded for her to continue, "I've been so concerned with loving Chaselynn and trying to find that thing that wasn't really there. It wouldn't ever be with her."

Brittany looked away so she didn't look too hopeful, "Who would it be with?"

"It was with you all along."

"What does that mean for us then?"

Santana closed the distance between them and kissed her as passionately as she had when they first kissed.

"It means that I'm done pushing you away."

Brittany smiled and jumped up and down before continuing to kiss her. When she finally pulled away she looked at the time, "I have to fly back to Lima in an hour. How are we going to do this?"

"With patience."

* * *

**A/N I hope you liked the story! My writings only getting better with time. **


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